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The Bullshit Hunt


Posted on October 20, 2016 at 5:35 PM

I don’t think you’ll ever find two identical individuals, at least I never have, not even twins. One has a higher voice, one is slightly taller, and most commonly, each will have a differently placed mole to distinguish them. We have all kinds of differences…race, ethnicity, religion, nationality, sexuality, orientation, eye-color, eye-shape, hair color, hair length, hair texture, height, voice frequency, hand-shape, foot-shape, lip size, lip color, joint size, body hair, teeth, strength, boob size, dick size, fingernail shape, fingernail size, small ears, floppy ears, crippled, goofy, ugly, pretty, fat, skinny, built, normal sized, etc., etc. And even more interesting, different names. Each person responds to a different set of sound frequencies that trigger only their neurological and emotional response mechanisms. The sound of your mother’s voice screaming your name will feel completely different than any other person screaming your name.


However, we’re all classified as one species and share the common tread of being human. No matter the difference, we work together on this planet. Even when we work against each other, we still do it together. War is several people working together to hurt another group of people working together. We do this through one common bond; communication. Communication seems to be the most powerful tribute to our species, aside from the brain, thumb, and concept of the future; communication allows us to work together and not as separate entities. We can even communicate from thousands of miles away. Who else on this planet has that capability?


On the other hand, communication has it’s downfalls, ask a Russian speaking man for directions when you don’t speak Russian and you’ll swear he’s trying to spit on you. But if you don’t speak the same language, gestures and facial expressions are also forms of communication. Sometimes, it’s even beneficial not to speak the same language. Let’s say you’re married and make your way to the Dominican Republic by yourself, for business of course, and you meet a few young women, one who finds you attractive and visa verse. You can figure this out through eye contact and body language, and probably will be more successful at “making love” with her because you can’t verbally communicate, and don’t have to worry about lying. Shit, you can even moan “I don’t feel anything,” with a smile, and she’ll think you’re purely enjoying her company.


But what if she spoke your language and you had to worry about getting your story straight. You don’t necessarily want to lie because it’s immoral, you can’t tell the truth because that will blow your chances of getting laid. What can you do? Pardon the pun, but you can beat around the bush. Never say you’re married but don’t say you’re not. You may use a phrase like, “it’s complicated.” You may also say “I’m seeing someone, but nothing serious,” However, you won’t say “I’m married but I want to bang you!” That probably won’t work. Language is also good for obscuring ideas to influence an outcome. The selection of words offer excellent options. Tell a woman she’s “immaculately gorgeous” as opposed to “pretty,” and you might find a different reaction.


When you’re a kid you’re good at twisting ideas. You’ll look for some sort of inconsistency from what the adult said previously and begin a sentence with “but didn’t you say…”. And you will most likely hear “you’re missing the point.” That my friend, is a great power of language, to miss the point. Why? For the very same reason you told that woman “it’s complicated.” So it’s easier to screw or get screwed. Watch or read a few commercials. You will hear a lot of empty, meaningless, obscured, descriptive words that don’t really define anything, except sounding good, but offer no promises.

Watch a television show, and as soon as a moment in the show is about to happen –”this portion of programming has been brought to you by…” “stop by and pick up a genuine, brand new, deluxe, luxurious, premium, quality-assured, efficient, guaranteed, no money down, economical, green, fast, easy to purchase, award-winning, product of the century, that’s just right for you!”- not one of these terms, or phrases, have any solid meaning and are completely open to chance. All we know is that they mean something that’s supposed to be good.


We’re taught how to use these words, but we’re taught that words are used to enhance speech, not bullshit; SYNONYMS and EUPHEMISMS. Synonyms, words with similar meanings, and Euphemisms, nicer ways of presenting harsh realities, offer sophisticated ways to bullshit people. Synonyms have created more ways to argue over the same idea, or concept, or principle, or thought, or notion, or theory, or interpretation, or perception, or opinion, or conclusion… to the point there’s more words than ideas, which clog the idea. Euphemisms are a way to say “fuck you” with a smile. Instead of a person being “ugly,” they can be “blemished” You also don’t have to worry about “taking a shit,” you may simply “use the restroom.” And if you ever get shit-faced drunk and you don’t want your parents or your spouse to find out, you can just tell them you were “tired and emotional.” And one more, if you were ever doing drugs and you get caught, relax! You don’t have to worry, you’re not a “junkie” or “drug attic” who may go to “jail,” you’re just a “victim of substance abuse” who just needs “rehabilitation.”


Our language has been inflated with euphemisms, synonyms, redundant phrases, words with obscured meanings, and several ways to hint, but never explain. As comedian, George Carlin put it “constipation has become occasional irregularity.” A good example of synonymous, euphemistic, obscured, redundancy, that doesn’t quite explain the problem. And I didn’t “steal” his line, I simply, “reused” it. Euphemisms and synonyms have disillusioned people into thinking conditions change simply by renaming the condition.


By default, language is at the forefront of bullshit, because it’s the initial way of receiving information. Overall, we use words to translate thoughts, and that is the foundation of being bullshitted. Instead of changing the action, you can simply change the words to justify the action. And as long as you get an “A” in the classroom for using the appropriate words presented to you, it will seem progressive. So instead of “reading this article,” you’re actually, examining the contents of this literature of modern vernacular of a contemporary issue. However, I suggest just reading the article.



Categories: Language

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